Five Tips for Successful Grandparenting

Building on the cherished connection between grandparents and
grandchildren is a life-long privilege As grandchildren grow
and mature the role grandparents play in the lives of their
grandchildren changes but the principals remain true at any age
1 Boundaries are necessary for control and safety All children
need and must learn to respect boundaries Being clear about
expectations before an activity begins frees you and the child
to enjoy the event and ensures the safety of everyone involved
If you observe the boundaries are being violated, don’t be
afraid to remind your grandchildren again Restate the rules as
many times as necessary Writing the rules and posting them or
bringing them along is a good idea If a rule is violated during
the activity, ask the child to repeat or read the rules again
2Gift giving is not a requirement of grandparenting Establish
a practice with your first grandchild and stick with it; what
you do for one doesn’t necessarily have to be done for all
Financial and family situations change as our children grow If
a family experiences loss of a job or divorce, don’t be afraid
to make temporary changes Gifts are gifts especially when they
are unexpected Surprise gifts are the best Gifts don’t have to
cost a lot Research supports the fact that “time together” is
the best gift we can give Travel provides time for the
grandparent and grandchildren to discover and appreciate each
other’s gifts
3 All rules must be consistent with parents’ wishes Anything
you do with and for your grandchild needs to be discussed first
with the parents After all, parents make the rules and
effective grandparents support them
Don’t keep secrets from the parents and don’t ask the
grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents Many
grandparents believe that some information should not be shared
with the parents, but this only undermines the relationships
4 There is no substitute for planning Proper planning ensures
that the activity will be discussed with the parents No matter
what the age or sex of your grandchild, planning makes any
activity more successful This is not to say you can’t be
spontaneous, but it’s often better and safer to have a plan
Discuss with the child what he or she would like to do Give
careful thought to the age appropriateness of the activities
before you begin Giving children choices increases their
self-confidence and is great training for the future
5 Grandchildren and grandparents want to have fun! There is no
substitute for good old-fashioned belly laughs It’s good for
you, your grandchild and your relationship During the activity
itself, share with your grandchildren how excited you are about
being with them Children enjoy getting away from their parents
for short periods of time and grandparents enjoy being part of a
very important relationship Parents enjoy their break too

Tags | boundaries, divorce, gifts, grandchildren, grandparents, parents, principals, unexpected